Horror News Roundup: Goddamnit…UPDATED, Now With 100% More Obama GIFs

It’s been a minute, readers. Michael’s birthday was this week and after all the terrible shit going on in the world, we took a very relaxing and much needed vacation to a quaint German town east of the Cascades. We stayed in a super fancy B&B right on the river (didn’t even need to use the white noise app, the river was RIGHT THERE) that had very good sheets, a giant jacuzzi tub, lots of M&M’s, and free soda. We went on a nice walk downtown and to the waterfront, ate some bratwurst, and had an overall lovely time. We then had a “surprise” party for Michael with his friends and brother at a nice brewery in the city; we ate lots of fried chicken, Cheetos, and some inhumanly good chocolate peanut butter pretzel things along with a giant Costco cake, we drank beer and we played Slash. It was a great line of defense against the real world I am going to have to face tomorrow morning. 

So, with that being said, I have some horror news to share! But first I want to talk about Ghostbusters. Now, we all know how hard I am rooting for this movie to be a wild success. I’ve been excited about this movie from day one, excitement that has only grown stronger with every dudebro crying about their childhood being ruined WHAAAAAAAAAA!!1 So when I saw the first reviews tricking in, I clicked the links hoping the critics would fulfill my dreams. 

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Me reading the first Ghostbuster reviews

So when I read Kalyn Corrigan’s review on Bloody Disgusting, needless to say I was pretty bummed. 

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Me after reading the first Ghostbuster review

Corrigan states, “with a script that feels just as lazy and inept as the girls’ eye candy male secretary, in addition to overtly awful CGI ghosts and in-your-face wink wink nudge nudge actor cameos from the original film, the cold hard fact is that Ghostbusters is overall a pretty bad movie.” Ouch. Although she does acknowledge the cultural significance of the film with its casting, it’s clear that she wasn’t that impressed. Now, normally one review from one person wouldn’t bother me; movies are subjective and just because one critic didn’t like a film doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad film or that I personally won’t enjoy the fuck out of it. However, this movie isn’t allowed to be mediocre; it had to be the greatest film ever so that the assholes who judged it before a single still was released wouldn’t forever point to this film as a reason why women shouldn’t be cast in men’s roles in classic re-makes. Yes, I know they don’t really need an excuse to do that and yes I know they will do it regardless of the actually merit of the film, it just would have been nice to not give the misogynists of the world fuel for the fodder.

I have no doubt that I will love this film as I’ve loved all of the Paul Fieg/Melissa McCarthy projects and thoroughly disagree with Corrigan when she states “…a prime example of the main issue that plagues many of Feig’s films, which is that as entertaining as they are, they wind up becoming forgettable once the audience exits the theater.” I disagree and I don’t think this film will be any different. I’ll report back after I’ve seen it myself. 

In other news:

Season 6 of American Horror Story is slated to be released  Wednesday, September 14, 2016.

Ash vs. Evil Dead season 2 trailer

New Netflix original horror series has begun filming. 

Carrie is getting an upgrade for the 40th anniversary of the film.

That’s all for now, kids. It’s going to be a rough week so let’s all be kind to each other and to ourselves. 

Updated to add: JUST KIDDING FRIENDS! Apparently I was unlucky enough to find the one bad Ghostbusters review. Everyone else seems to love it. I never lost faith that I would love this movie, but now I can be obnoxious about it!

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Me after reading the good Ghostbusters reviews. BYE HATERS!

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